


Always better late than never (Falling In Love)

by jojomustdie



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, also contains McFly song because why not, also there might be some swearing sooo, and dan writes on a journal at some point, contains cheating at some point so fair warning, first phanfic so pls be gentle, i'm not very proud of the very beginning of it but i think it improves, oh also fluff when the time comes, ooh and the story is set in the end of 2015 cause that's actually when i started writing it, tbh is more like light angst i can't put my son's through much suffering, there's just a lot going on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jojomustdie/pseuds/jojomustdie
Summary: Dan comes back from the US to find out Phil has a girlfriend and he's not quite sure how he feels about it.





	1. the one where there's a girl in the house

The train to his house seemed to take longer than usual, especially because it had been a month since he last took one. Dan couldn’t wait to be home once for all. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate the time he’d spent with his parents, or his time filming in the US, he was just _really_ homesick.

          He never really got used to be away from Phil, at least not completely like he had to be this time. Both barely had time to Skype properly, Dan tried to make the best out of the two weeks he spent at his parents, and with all the collabs he had to film in the US... as for Phil, Dan wasn’t sure; all he knew is that Phil had been really busy in the past month. Filming, he guessed.

          The train finally stopped, and Dan went out to the cold-ass London, “It’s December, after all.”, Dan said to himself, his lips curling up a bit. He started to think about what he was going to give to each of his friends and relatives and how he and Phil would decorate the flat that he only snapped out of his thoughts when the cab stopped in front of his building.

          As he entered the flat, he knew something was off, but couldn’t put his finger on it. The flat was completely silent, even though it was only half past eleven, “Phil?! I’m home!”, he said only loud enough for Phil to listen from his bedroom, but there was no response.  “ _Maybe he’s asleep”_ , Dan thought, “Or  _maybe he's out. I was hoping to surprise him by coming today anyway._ ”, with that thought in mind, he went to the bathroom to get himself ready to sleep.

          He squatted, reaching out for the lotion placed on the lower cabinet. "Oh, hello!" he heard a someone say, and it sure as hell wasn't Phil.

          “Who are you? How did you get in here??”, Dan asked, pretty much shouting as he rose from the ground. It was a girl! Why the hell was there a girl inside their bathroom?

          “Oh my God, you must be Dan!”, she pulled him into a hug,  “I’m so glad to finally meet you! Phil hasn’t shut up about yo-Sorry. I’m Ella, Phil’s  girlfriend!” her smile was big, matching her big mud-brown eyes.

          He knew he was supposed to be happy, but happiness would be the last thing he was feeling right then. To be honest, it was a mixture of disgust, anger and a lot of confusion. Why didn’t Phil tell him he had a girlfriend? They had talked just the other night! Why was she in  _ **their**_  flat? Did they do anything inappropriate around the flat? Oh, God, he didn’t even want to consider the last one. All of the sudden, all those feelings were covered by a bigger feeling of betrayal. Phil had been hiding this for God-knows how long, and he let her inside their house, their home, without asking.

          “Er...nice. Happy for you two. Um, where’s Phil?”, even though he was trying hard to hide all those feelings, he knew he was being much of a bitter trash can. He was extremely overwhelmed; way too many mixed feelings and informations going through his head. He couldn’t talk to Phil like that, to anyone, really. Things would just get messier. “Nevermind, I’ll talk to him in the morning. I’m exhausted. Ern, it was...nice... to meet you.”, he said, and went to his room straight ahead, not sure what to do next.

          Truth be told, all he wanted to do was asking Ella to leave. He had never felt that uncomfortable in his entire lifetime. But he couldn’t go anywhere else, he was in his house, even though he didn’t quite feel like he was home.


	2. the one with the skype call

As the sun rose, Dan’s room became lighter each second. Shit. He had forgotten to close his curtains the previous night. Dan grabbed his phone and unlocked it; 6:20 am. What a great way to start the day! He tried to get back to his dreams for a few minutes. Then he realized it wasn’t going to work, and decided to start his day. He checked Phil’s bedroom, twice,  just to make sure they were both asleep and that he'd be able to get ready  peacefully . He was  so not in the mood to deal with all that. Not yet.

          After showering, he opted for some pancakes. He ended up making way too many of them to eat by himself, though. So he grabbed some and left the rest on the kitchen counter. He ate as fast as he could, hoping nobody would wake up and went back to his room.

          Tyler and him had become even better friends because of Dan’s trip. People said they  were attatched by the hip. They had a great time together and promised to talk to each other more often. Dan wanted to talk to someone about the previous night, he figured Tyler would be the right person to do so.

“hey, u awake? Kinda wanna talk 2 someone abt smth if u’re free.” Dan sent, and got a response almost immediately.

“Talk daily to me” Dan couldn’t help but grin.

“Can u Skype? 2 lazy 2 text that much”

          Tyler didn’t even reply, Dan received a call right away.

          “Hey, Ty. How are you?”, Dan laid on his bed, getting as comfortable as possible.

          “I’m good! Thanks for asking.”, Tyler studied Dan for a moment before continuing. “You don’t look all that good.", the blue-haired boy frowned, "What happened?”

          “I don’t know, Ty. I figured you’d know better.” Dan took a deep breath before continuing, “Yesterday when I got back hom- to my house, there was a girl in that flat. Turns out the girl’s actually Phil’s  girlfriend that I had no knowledge of the existence whatsoever. I can’t help but feel... I don’t know, betrayed? I mean, we have been best friends for 7 years now, and we tell each other everything! Why did he hide such a thing from me? Why did he allow her to come to  our home before even telling me about her existence?” At this point, Dan was  just getting everything off his chest, “Why didn’t he tell me he wanted to see someone? Doesn’t he trust me? Who DID he tell? I bet he told PJ.” Dan sighted in frustration. Those thoughts were suffocating him, even though he knew they were most likely untrue.

          Tyler remained silent for a few moments, analyzing everything Dan had just said, “Dan... it seems like you still have things inside... things that wanna  be let out. Let them out.” Tyler said  carefully , he had an idea of where the conversation was going.

          “I mean...why does he need to have a girlfriend? We’ve been living together for six years, and it has been more than enough for me. Why can’t it be enough for him? Why am I not enough for him?”, Dan felt tears coming, but he had gone too deep to care about that. “I don’t even know what’s bothering me more: Phil dating without telling me or Phil dating at all.”

          The conversation kept going for several hours. Tyler was trying to get the most out of it, as Dan was willing to open up, but at one point Tyler  was led to a conclusion:

          “Dan, do you like Phil?”, he asked, trying to sound natural.

          “Of course I bloody like him, Tyler! We live together.”, Dan said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

          “No! Not like that! I mean, do you like like him?  Romantically ?”

          Dan’s face shut as he became thoughtful. Truth is: he wasn’t sure himself about his feelings for Phil, they were way too mixed and confused.

          “Well I-“ , Dan got interrupted by Phil, that  suddenly appeared in the room, “DAN!! HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?! OH MY GOD, TELL ME EVERYTHING!” Phil snuggled Dan, locking the younger boy between his arms;  at least something hadn’t changed. Dan looked at Tyler, who smiled and ended the call.

          After all, he already knew the answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I posted it a day earlier than planned because we all deserve a distraction after the mess that was BBC Sherlock's season (and probably series) finale. I'm truly devastated because I held this series very close to my heart :/ but anway, stay tuned for a new chapter very soon! :)


	3. the one where dan is fucked (not literally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me forever to update! Life got in the way...  
> This one is basically explaining Dan's mental state after figuring out (spoiler alert) that he's in love with Phil. That's why it isn't as big as the last two.  
> There are a few more things to come before I wrap this up. Hope you enjoy it!

Dan kept thinking about Tyler's question for quite a while. And, if he was being honest with himself, he knew the answer.

There was never a moment that he felt more stupid than he did right then. He was in love with his best friend but was stupid enough to only realize it when said best friend had become taken. Fuck. His. Life.

Even worse, Dan had  absolutely no idea of what he  was supposed to do with this piece of information. Of course he didn't want to tell Phil and ruin both his current relationship and their friendship. Problem is: that left Dan as a pining scumbag who didn't know what to do with himself.

His head was a mess, that much was for sure. He didn't know what was the worst part: the pining? The  overall confusion? Or how frustrating it was that he, a twenty-four-year-old, didn't know how to react now that he had a fucking crush. (Okay, it was more than a simple crush, but he always had a touch for the dramatic.)

Besides all the inner confusion, Dan's main focus was to act as if nothing was going on. At least until he figured out what he  was supposed to do with himself, and he was pretty sure he was failing on that as well. He hadn't been able to hang out with Phil for long. Although that was  mainly because of Ella, Dan knew that he was also one to blame. He felt like he couldn't talk to Phil for long without feeling like his feelings were obvious. Kind of like a cat sticker on one's face. It was his best friend, for crying out loud! Of course Phil would figure it out at some point.

Long story short: Dan's mind was way-too-fucked and Dan's body wasn't  being fucked enough. For obvious reasons.


	4. the one where dan writes on a journal and sings mcfly (basically the one where he has reached rock bottom)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title sums it up pretty nicely tbh.  
> I've changed some things from the past chapters so the narrative would flow better, so I'd recommend checking the whole thing again to avoid confusion.  
> This one is probably the longest chapter so far. Hope y'all like it!!

_How do you describe a feeling that has never crossed your mind before, but the minute you realize it exists, you feel like it has been there all along? When nothing has really changed, but, all of the sudden, the world seems completely different in your eyes?_

_That’s pretty much how I’m feeling about Phil now._

_I have never thought of us in anyway but platonic, until I realized that neither of us did really(??!!) We have always been platonic…but not? We used to flirt quite a lot, but it was a joke, wasn't it? Wasn't it?! I don’t really know, it just feels like we have always been kind of together, but not really. I don’t really know. I feel completely emotionally drained. Oh, and stupid as well. Can't put enough emphasis on the stupid part._

_And now I’m actually writing on a journal._

_I need to reconsider my life._

Dan closed the journal, feeling pretty stupid, but kind of relieved from taking those things of his chest.

 After a few weeks of this mess, he still wasn’t getting used to it. Phil was really getting along with Ella, as they were hanging out every other day. Thankfully, they weren’t hanging out a lot in their flat anymore, as Ella wanted to “have new kinds of experiences with her boo-boo” and had the necessity to repeat it every time she and Dan (unfortunately) crossed paths.

“She’s not a bad person”, said Dan in one of the countless Skype sessions he and Tyler had in the past month, “She’s just really fucking annoying. It’s like you can’t talk to her for more than a minute, because you’ll want to punch her so fucking bad. I wonder why Phil likes her, because seriously?? She doesn’t even like anime!! Or video games! Or literally anything Phil truly likes! It seems like he can’t do anything he actually enjoys with her. Is that really worth the kisses? Geez.”

Tyler couldn’t help but laugh at Dan's despair, and even Dan himself had his lips curling up a bit. At least his problems were making someone a bit happier about their own lives.

“People tend to minimize themselves and believe that they deserve much less than they actually do. They can’t see their own potential and worthiness so they content themselves with crappy and selfish bastards that only suck their lives and happiness. I’m counting you on that one as well!” Tyler’s advices were really great, but they weren’t really helping Dan within the search for a proper answer to his problem. It had been weeks since he started thinking about what was the proper way to handle this situation, but every time he thought he was getting close to something, his brain would just stop working and he would be back to square one. Needless to say those had been the most frustrating weeks of Dan’s life. And that says something.

“I just wish I could get an answer to anything, you know? It’s like I can’t figure anything anymore because my brain has melted from too much thinking.” Dan sighed deeply, and, honestly, asking for help to any and every divinity, hoping at least one of them would listen.

“Look, I have to go to a meeting now, but hear me out! Focus yourself in other things: listen to a new band, get in touch with someone you haven’t spoke to in a while, make a new video! That always helps me when I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I bet it’ll help you too.” And in that note, Tyler ended the call.

(x)

He tried to follow Tyler’s advice and started listening to a band that he always thought was pretty shitty, but then he found out he could relate to their lyrics.

 _“Everyday feels like a Monday, there is_ __  
No escaping from the heartache, now I  
Wanna put it back together, cause it's  
Always better late than never."

He had only listened to the song a few times, but the lyrics was pretty clear in his head, as he could sing it without even thinking.  And he did so, with all the strength he had left.

 _"Wishin' I could be in California,_ __  
I wanna tell you when I call you,  
I could've fallen in love,  
I wish I'd fallen in love."

 _"Out of our minds and out of time_ __  
Wishin' I could be with you,  
and to share the view,  
we could've fallen in love"

He had to sit down for a moment, as he was already tired as hell, but it was like he couldn’t stop singing, the message wasn’t clear yet.

 _"Waking up to people talking_ __  
and it's, getting later every morning  
Now I, realize it's nearly midday  
And I've, wasted half my life, to throw it away,  
Saying, every day should be a new day,  
To make you smile and find a new way,  
of falling in love,I could've fallen in love”

Dan wondered why hadn't listened to Mcfly sooner.

(x)

“Hey, Dan?”, Phil showed up in Dan’s bedroom, causing the young boy to jump of his chair, making the two of them laugh hard.

“Dammn, Phil! You scared the hell out of me!”, he said after calming down a bit. “Well, I guess it really is a ghost, because the real Phil Lester is never home anymore.” Dan said, trying to sound like he was joking, but also hoping Phil would get the message, that it would sting a little. As the older boy’s face shut, Dan knew the message was successfully given. “Hm…I assume you didn’t come here just to scare me?”

“Oh, yeah. Right. Hum, I wanted to know if you wanna hang out today, maybe go downtown and have a milkshake, catch a movie and stuff?” Phil gave him a small but very sincere smile, waiting for his answer.

“Hm, I’m pretty sure you and Ella would enjoy some privacy. I don’t want to ruin the mood for you two.” Dan gave him an apologetic smile. He wanted to hang out with Phil, of course he did. He missed his friend more than anything, but the fear of him finding out and it ruining it all for them had overtook Dan. Plus, he definitely would go out of his way to avoid Ella.

"Actually, Ella's at a friend's house right now, said it was an emergency. So I'm left here with two tickets for an awesome movie and no one to tag along. Come on, Dan, let's hang out like old times!" He could see the glimpse of hope in his best friends eyes. How could he say no to that?

Dan groaned as he stood up from his chair. "Okay. Just give me a few minutes to get ready and we'll be on our way." Phil broke out a grin that made Dan's chest ache. It felt to good to be the reason Phil was happy, it made his cheeks feel warm and his stomach feel funny.

"Great! I'll be waiting in the living room. You're the best!" And on that note, Phil left Dan's room, and he felt like he could finally breathe.

 _"This is going to be hard."_ he thought to himself.


End file.
